How To : Help A Friend With An Eating Disorder

July 25th, 2010

How To : Help A Friend With An Eating Disorder

general info

DIFFICULTY:

Crazy Hard

TIME:

possibly years

WHAT YOU'LL NEED:

an adult

Average:

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By Lauren M.
Seeing a friend suffer from an eating disorder is scary stuff; I’ve seen it. All of a sudden she’s different—she might seem sad or angry, and you may even be worried she just doesn’t like you anymore. It’s a very hard situation to deal with, but here are some things that might help.

Realize that it’s not about you.

When a friend is suffering from an eating disorder, its easy to get angry because she isn’t being the kind of friend you want her to be. If you seriously suspect that she has anorexia or bulimia, try your hardest to put your own feelings aside so you can do what is best for her.

It’s also not about food.

Or being fat for that matter—at least not directly. Is she going through something tough at home? Is she worried about something happening at school? Eating disorders often are control-related and accompany depression at a deeper level. So trying to get her to eat more at lunch, constantly asking her if she’s eaten anything today, or telling her she’s skinnier than you, will not help, and may even make her more conscious of her situation and make it worse.

Ask somebody who is also close to her.

If you suspect that a friend has an eating disorder, ask somebody else if they are thinking the same thing. Be careful with this step though; you don’t want to come off as gossipy, nor do you want word to get around that you are talking about her behind her back.

If after getting a second opinion, you still think an eating disorder is a possibility, tell an adult. If she is suffering from anorexia or bulimia, she will probably need some psychological treatment (to see a psychologist, therapist, etc), which, unfortunately, you cannot offer her.

I know it may be tempting to try to do something about it yourself, but an adult—a parent, teacher, or school counselor—will be able to get your friend what she needs much better than you can.

Be supportive.

What you do next depends very much on how your friend responds to people’s concerns; it is very likely that she will be angry or upset, especially if she knows that one of her friends is “accusing” her of being anorexic/bulimic. Let her know that your friendship hasn’t changed by asking her to hang out, complimenting her (preferably on something not image-related i.e. on how good she is at ___ )

Try to avoid food-centered activities for a while.

If your friends often go out to eat after school, try doing something else (going bowling, seeing a movie, or just hanging out), so that you and your friend can avoid the pressure to address her situation.

Talk to her about it.

If your friend is able to come to terms with her disorder, talk to her about it. Getting to this step may take a long time—and it may never happen at all. If she gets to the point in which talking will be helpful for her, this is best to do in a private setting, one-on-one.

Try not to get frustrated.

Though many young women struggle with eating habits at some point in their lives, it often takes many, many years for somebody who suffers severely from an eating disorder to recover. Some never recover at all. I know the last thing any friend wants to do is to sit by and watch her friend suffer—you may start to feel frustrated, sad, or helpless.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself.

Sometimes it is easy, when someone to whom you are close is going through a hard time, to put yourself completely aside for their sake. If you start feeling overwhelmed, talk to somebody! A friend, a parent, a teacher, or even a counselor or therapist. You can’t be in complete control of your friend’s life, but you do have the power to take care of your own body and your own needs, and this is the most important thing for you to do.

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wats eating disorder?

Submitted by cel on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 18:28.

wats eating disorder?

Someone has an eating

Submitted by CleverHive on Mon, 07/26/2010 - 11:38.

Someone has an eating disorder when they do not have normal eating habits. This means they may eat too much or eat too little. This hurts their physical and emotional health. Some examples of common eating disorders are: bulimia and anorexia. If you think you or a friend is suffering from an eating disorder, tell a parent, teacher or other trusted adult.
- The CleverHive Team

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July 25th, 2010

How To : Help A Friend With An Eating Disorder

general info

DIFFICULTY:

TIME:

WHAT YOU'LL NEED:

>> read more

wats eating disorder?

Someone has an eating

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CleverHive

who does this too: no one does this too!

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